Unless you want to feel the earth move, I wouldn’t go anywhere near Carcassonne in southern France this week.
Johnny, for one, is going to stay in his bunker in Brussels.
What the European Union is calling “a major European disaster simulation exercise” is taking place there all this week.
Officials are testing how good different countries are at co-operating during a major earthquake. It is the first European civil protection exercise since the Lisbon Treaty encouraged countries to work more closely together.
Little information is available but we are told that “command posts will work under realistic conditions in the field”.
The exercise is being organised by France and involves civil protection teams from Belgium, Czech Republic, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Luxembourg, Poland and Spain, while chiefs watch on from the European Commission’s spookily named Monitoring and Information Centre in Brussels.
Johnny says: “Stay calm everybody!”